Wow! What a day today was! I thoroughly enjoyed Mother’s Day today. I was on time, knew my parts, and actually looked good this morning. I’d had a great weekend, tried out some new things, met new friends, and flexed my schedule when Peanut got sick with no anger, frustration, or resentment. My house, though not spotless, is ok enough for guests (we’re all family here- just ignore that pile of laundry on the chair we never use). My vegetable garden is coming along nicely. And I sent my mother’s day cards out a week ago, so I’m even on top of that.

This is in stark contrast to last mother’s day. I didn’t do my annual Mother’s Day post last year. It’s ok if you didn’t notice. We’re all so busy, how could I expect you to? I don’t go to your website nearly enough unless you send me a link, lol!

It’s really too bad, because I had lots of great material, mostly centered on my son’s discovery of his new friend, “pee-pee,” and I had written it a million times in my head. I couldn’t wait to get home from church and type it all up. My readers were going to LOVE such anecdotes as the first time I heard, “Mommy! Come look my pee-pee is bigger…and it tickles” They were especially going to get a kick over my response the time he called out, “Mommy! I’ve got something to show you!” What is it honey? “My pee-pee. It’s not a pee-pee anymore. It’s a surprise.” I answered (without thinking), “That’s what they all say, honey. And a smart girl won’t fall for that!”

Yep. It was gonna be awesome. I was going to write it after the mother’s day breakfast at my church, so I could include some heartwarming nugget about how the Peanut served me breakfast. But I left both the breakfast and the accompanying church service in tears. I was the only single mom at the minister’s table, and at that breakfast I learned stuff about my ex that I wish I hadn’t. Stuff that confirmed I was right to leave, but still stuff that hurt. And, later, when my pastor preached on how men should cherish and honor the saintly women who put up with them, run their households, and rear their children, rather than appreciating his wisdom (wish more men would teach that), I was overcome with feeling that I was unappreciated, not cherished, not loved, not fought for, not protected. Not wanted. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be single. Of course, that’s not true, but you ladies have all been there hurting and you know how the devil comes in and twists the knife through whatever lies he can get you to believe.

But today was a great day. Low stress, lots of laugh, and great folks. We honored our Sunday School teacher (and I’m really going to miss her now that Triumphant Life is about to start Sunday School), had a great time praising the Lord together, and I was even treated to dinner: the group let me pick where to eat, and one of the guys picked up my check.

And it’s not just that today, Mother’s Day, was great, but I realized that this last year I’ve strung together days and weeks of great times, punctuated by a little heartache here and there, but over all life is good. Sure, there was some serious financial shock at the end of last year, but I regrouped, altered my lifestyle to adjust to the new reality, and am even happier. I’ve divested almost all of my extracurricular and volunteer activities. I’m focusing on “us” right now. You know what’s funny? All of those organizations (and people) found someone else to do the job. All those websites I used to run? Mostly hired out. The world didn’t stop just because I decided o take a breather. Ok, I’ll admit that hurt just a tiny bit to discover I was so, uh, dispensable. But not enough to negate the awesomeness of being at T-Ball with my son, not worried about the 20 other things I’d have to sacrifice to watch him because, now-a-days I only have one or two things on my plate each night. And it’s usually something with him.
There are times I feel a pull to give more money, give more time, but you know what? When I check the Spirit on this, He typically isn’t the one pulling me. Rather, He more often urges me to scale back. Scale back that gift, scale back that donation, scale back how much you’ll volunteer to help at that event. Right now you need to take care of business. And business #1 is your son.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I think I’m doing a great job, but I still have a fair amount of “Mom guilt.” This is especially evident when I look at mommy-and-me school projects. My projects with the Peanut are typically hastily done in contrast to the intricate concoctions his classmates bring in. I cringe when I see all the energy and time other parents put into their kids, wearing home-made matching family shirts to cheer on their little sports star, running to a multitude of lessons, buying them all kinds of cool toys, stuff like that. But the guilt is still there.

But I console myself knowing that I rarely see other kids launch into a public mommy kiss fest, and I don’t hear other moms talk about how their baby wrote them a song, “Mommy is my best friend.” If the worst frustration I have about my son his habit of hugging and kissing me profusely at the most inappropriate times, then well, I must be doing ok. Another year like this, and I may just have to ditch these “Mother’s Day for the SuperMom” posts… because I’ll no longer qualify! And that’s the way it SHOULD be!

Previous "Mothers Day for the SuperMom" posts:
Mother’s Day for the SuperMom, 2009
Mother’s Day for the SuperMom, 2008
Mother’s Day for the SuperMom (the original, 2007)